A seminal comedy in the literal sense alone, this sperm bank break-in caper is impotent stuff. Laughs—and there are a few here and there—are jerry-rigged. To stage a gag at that semen facility, writers Peter Gaulke and Gerry Swallow (co-writers of the sibling-incest comedy “Say It Isn’t So”) put an aggro security guard on duty, as if it were an abortion clinic encircled by extreme right-to-lifers. Ejaculating champagne fizz is far, far away from Frank Tashlin’s aroused milk bottles. Director Jay Chandrasekhar (“Super Troopers,” “Beerfest,” “The Dukes of Hazzard“) lends to “The Babymakers“ a dispiriting lack of timing. Puerile body panic can be much funnier than what Olivia Munn delivers as the unpregnant one and Paul Schneider deposits as her intended impregnator. With Kevin Heffernan, Wood Harris, Nat Faxon, Aisha Tyler, Collette Wolfe, Hayes MacArthur, Jay Chandrasekhar. 98m. (Bill Stamets)
“The Babymakers” opens Friday, August 3.